How to Be A Good Dance Partner Part 3: "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

So far, we have talked about making sure you don't smell bad and what you should say to your dance partner. Today, we are going to talk about listening! Dance is a partner activity. It requires an awareness on the part of both dancers in order to be an enjoyable activity. You must LISTEN to what your partner is telling you! A few tips:

1) Listen to what they say about themselves, respond, and remember! When you remember small details about someone, such as their kids or pets names, it validates that they are important to you. It also makes you a great conversationalist, which everyone loves! Try to avoid spacing out and not paying attention to the person you are dancing with. It makes you seem rude, boring, and inconsiderate, and no one wants to dance with that kind of person!

2) Listen to their body language! This is very important for 2 reasons: you can gauge their comfort level with you, and you can tell a lot about how you should adjust your lead/follow. Pay attention to whether they are dancing closely or if they are holding themselves away from you. This is a good measure of their comfort level (or interest level) in you. Please, respect the physical space boundary they set. It is never fun to feel like there is a tug of war happening on the dance floor, where she sets her comfort zone and he keeps trying to pull her closer and she keeps trying to reestablish her space. Trust me, it is not fun, and it won't help, so just accept and respect the space that your partner is setting.

Now, it is important to keep in mind that this ALSO tells you about their dance ability... Someone who sets a wide personal zone may be a less experienced dancer and may be worried about their feet stepping on yours/being stepped on or whether or not they can lead/follow you. If they seem to tense up when you try to spin them, take that as a sign and take it easy on the twirling. I once danced with a guy who literally picked my feet up off the ground and crushed me against him every time he spun us around. No matter how hard I tried, he wouldn't stop. I honestly felt like I was bruised after that song ended and I DID NOT dance with him again.

Your goal when dancing with a partner is to make sure that you BOTH are having a good time. So be a gracious and kind partner and heed what your partner is saying both verbally and physically!

3) Listen to the music! This seems like an obvious one, but don't get so caught up in counting, trying to remember steps, or zipping through traffic that you forget about the music! Relax, take your time, and have fun!

If you are interested in learning to dance, contact your local Arthur Murray Dance Studio today!